Thursday 14 August 2014

#Guide: How to be a complete NUISANCE and an ungracious guest

#1: Leave your manners at home and always assume

Yes, that's right, you're on a holiday, why bother with manners? Leave them at home with your troubles and worries. When in doubt? Just assume! No one ever gets hurts when you assume, right?

#2: Be culturally insensitive 

Gosh, who does your host think you are? Be culturally sensitive? Yeah right! You didn't go over to be considerate to others! Who cares if Asians don't wear shoes in their house? Who cares if Westerners think it's rude to talk with their mouths full? You do whatever you want, screw cultural insensitivity!

#3: Go ahead, trouble your host as and when you like

Pff, you made the effort to be their guest (and maybe even a stay over guest!!!), they should be glad to attend to your every request! Now bow to me, slaves.

#4: Waste as much resource as you want!

Conserve water and electricity? Why bother? Your host is paying for everything anyway, it's not your house, right? It's not like global warming is a real issue, anyway.

#5: Take anything and everything you want from your host's place without permission

Duh, this goes without saying. That packet of potato chips in the cabinet? Go ahead and have it, it's there anyway. You're getting fat for your host, they should pay you to do that!

#6: Enter the host's room as and when you fancy

Hello...., why shouldn't you? They said to make yourself at home. Of course you're allowed to enter their room and make a mess. They said to make yourself at home! What else are you supposed to do?! That's exactly what you do at home!

#7: Be calculative

Down to the last cent, why not? They didn't waste a single cent hosting you, if anything, you spent a fortune to visit them from aboard (probably), there is absolutely nothing wrong with splitting the bill down the middle for EVERY SINGLE THING, because you can.

(Random note: He's a Singaporean! So proud!! He acted in several movies, e.g. Captain America 2)

#8: Don't bother with gifts

As I've mentioned, you spent a fortune to visit! Gosh, they expected gifts? Fat hopes. They should prepare their house full of gifts for you instead!

#9: Treat the place like a hotel

Erm, you are on a holiday after all. If their place is not good enough to replace a hotel, why are you there to begin with? If it's good enough to be a hotel, then you OUGHT to treat it as a hotel. Makes perfect sense! You are the guest, you mess up. They are the host (read: MAID), they clean up.

#10: Why bother treating your host to a nice meal? I mean, they should be glad to have YOU over, yes?

This goes without saying. If anything, they should treat you to a nice meal every night because your mere presence. Isn't this common sense? Gosh! Can't believe some people are so dull.

If you've read the whole post and thought,"What a glad idea!" Please don't. I was being sarcastic and I've titled the post "How to be a complete NUISANCE", so no, it's not a good idea to follow what I've just wrote, unless you really want to be an asshole.

This post is inspired by behaviours of my own personal experiences and what I've gathered from friends/acquaintances. Thank you for all who have contributed, either to my (bad) experience, or to my writing material. This post is dedicated to you. :)

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