So... Today marks my one year away from home.
Where did the year go?
What a year it has been! Last year today, I'd spent the day saying good byes with precious friends and family at home, at the airport, over the phone. Today, I've spent the day with new friends I've made in this country. Friends who come from different countries and backgrounds. Oh and my little dog, Bella. (Who is sleeping beside me while I'm typing this out.)
I started this journey really sad and depressed just being away from home. I've lost count of the number of days/nights I've spent crying from missing home, having friends or just a place I can feel safe (sadly, I do not feel safe in this current house because the condo management has keys to the backdoor and I've had strange men just walk through the back door without ringing the door bell!!! I was in the living room watching TV then. Pray tell how is a girl supposed to feel safe in an environment like this?).
It's not all bad in the beginning, of course. These were just pockets of sadness when I'm alone and feel like I've got no one to talk to. As the year progressed, I made more friends and thought I was feeling better. I was, until my friends started leaving in the middle of the year. That's when things kind of spiralled downwards. But sure enough, I managed to make new friends soon after and things were looking good again. I've haven't felt homesick in quite a while, though I still miss Singapore food like crazy. (There's no food like home food.) I wonder if that's something I can ever get used to not having. Probably not, actually.
I've made the decision to get rid of toxic friends and keep only the dearest ones in the past year, which has really helped me get through this transition stage. I don't hear anymore negative or sarcastic comments about my life from toxic friends who claim to be my friend, which is great for my mental well-being. I have to say, why didn't I do this earlier??? (The getting-rid-of-toxic-friends, I mean.)
Being away from the nest is a good experience. I've finally had the chance to travel to places without getting criticised for my choice of destination. I've finally gotten the opportunity to travel on my own. It would be a cold day in hell if I were still staying in Singapore AND allowed to travel aboard on my own. I've learnt what it means to alone and lonely (being lonely is not a nice feeling and I don't like it). I've learnt how important human relationships are for a sanity of a person. Only when I was pulled out of my comfort zone, my circle of friends and family and thrown into an unfamiliar ground, then I'd realised I am not an island.
I think the year has proved to some people that I can survive away from home. Despite the whole 'Singapore is such a safe haven that kids growing up there probably do not know how to take care of themselves' train of thought that some people might have, they are wrong. I've survived the year. I did not run home with my tail between my legs.
So there you have it. My one year in Bangkok. I hope the next year will be better than the last.
With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.
Wayne Dyer
